Family Attorney
Should You Tattle?
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Not long ago, a friend stopped by her house in the middle of the day and discovered her 15-year-old son smoking pot with several other teenagers. She was shocked and angry, but she was also en route to a doctor’s appointment, so she ordered the kids out of the house and told her son she would speak to him later. With guidance from his mother and stepfather, the boy seems to be doing O.K. But what about his friends? Do their parents need to know what happened? Some say, Of course: all parents want to be told if their kids are doing something wrong. Others say, Of course not: one parent’s wrong might be another parent’s “So what?” It’s hard enough looking after your own kids without policing other people’s. There’s no right answer for every parent in a situation like this, so the best strategy may be to decide in advance what you will do if the problem comes up. Since teenagers tend to act out in groups, it’s best to network with other parents years before the kids are old enough to inhale. According to Kate Kelly, author of The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Parenting a Teenager, those early chats about play dates and carpools give you a chance to make your preferences known. Ideally your teen will come to you if she gets into trouble at a friend’s house, but if you want to hear from her friend’s parents too, say so early, especially since maintaining parent-to-parent ties gets tougher in the teen years. More : time.com |