Family Attorney
Will your money fights lead to divorce?
|
|
Having one of those jaw-clenching financial “discussions” with your (spendthrift, tight-fisted, financially clueless or controlling) spouse? Well, you’ll be happy to know that many successful marriages are generously seasoned with episodes of anger and disagreement. At least that’s what psychologist John Gottman and his team at the University of Washington have found after conducting extensive research on married couples in what is often called “the love lab” – where researchers observe a couple’s communication styles and physiological changes during conversation to help predict whether they’re likely to divorce. “(I)n the ecology of marriage a certain amount of negativity is required for the union to thrive,” Gottman writes in his book, “Why Marriages Succeed or Fail.” “(A)iring a complaint – though rarely pleasant, makes the marriage stronger in the long run.” In marriages that thrive, that “certain amount of negativity” isn’t the embittered, permanent variety that’s infused with truckloads of contempt, defensiveness and stubbornness. Here are some key signs that your money fights are moving from healthy to toxic for your relationship, according to Gottman: You criticize, attacking your partner, not just a specific behavior. “I wish you’d pay the bills on time, so we can avoid paying late fees” is a legitimate complaint. Saying, “Why can’t I ever trust you to pay on time?” is criticizing. You show contempt, insulting or psychologically abusing your partner. During an argument about spending, a wife says to her husband, “Why are you always so irresponsible? You never pay attention to how much you spend. You’re so selfish.” More : money.cnn.com |
Related Articles from Attorney for Family
Will your money fights lead to divorce?
Having one of those jaw-clenching financial "discussions" with your (spendthrift, tight-fisted, financially clueless or controlling) spouse? Well, you'll be happy to know that many successful marriages are generously seasoned with episodes of anger and disagreement. At least that's what psychologist John Gottman and his team at the University of Washington have found after conducting extensive research on married couples in what is often called "the love lab" -- where researchers observe a couple's communication styles and physiological changes during conversation to help predict whether they're likely to divorce. "(I)n the ecology of marriage a certain amount of negativity is required for the
More Texans Are Choosing ’Kinder, Gentler’ Divorces
After 13 years of marriage, Debbie and Phil Pilgrim's divorce was as close to pain-free as possible. No bitter custody battle. No fights over money. No ugly courtroom scenes. "I was expecting the worst going in, and it wasn't that way at all," said Debbie Pilgrim, an airline passenger service representative from Hurst. "And I truly believe it was because of the way it was handled." The Pilgrims are among a growing number of Texas couples who are choosing what some lawyers describe as a "kinder, gentler," more civilized approach to ending a marriage. A year ago this month, the
Partners to receive benefits from U. Illinois-area county.
Beginning Dec. 1, 2006, Champaign County employees in domestic partnerships will receive joint medical benefits. The Champaign County Board voted to include non-union county employees who are in domestic partnerships into health insurance plans at their meeting Thursday night. The action, which will affect both heterosexual and homosexual domestic partnerships, carried 27 to 7. Kimberlie Kranich, co-founder of the 85 Percent Coalition, an organization that fights for equal... Source : accessmylibrary.com
In Domestic Violence, These Charges Stick
Albert D. rolled his eyes and grimaced when he was told he had to spend Labor Day weekend in the Sussex County jail. "If a married couple wants to patch things up between themselves," he moaned, "why get the law involved?" What Albert and his wife Lillian wanted to settle between themselves was her call to the police a few days earlier, saying her husband had punched and kicked her when she threatened to leave him and take their three children with her. Now she wanted to drop the complaint. No way, said the police, prosecutor and judge. In Sussex
Church And State Tussle Over The Guardianship Of Religious Masterpieces
LEAD: TAKING CARE OF ALL the fine art piled up in this country is more than just a practical matter. It is a problem that involves the ways that Italians look at God and country, the rest of the world and themselves. TAKING CARE OF ALL the fine art piled up in this country is more than just a practical matter. It is a problem that involves the ways that Italians look at God and country, the rest of the world and themselves. For example, over almost 2,000 years of history the Roman Catholic Church has had all kinds of